When I was younger, I never would have imagined that I would eventually be the one responsible for the care of my parents. Old people scared me. They made me sad, especially when I saw them alone at the store or sitting on the bus stop. And, while I loved my parents dearly, I had no desire to be the one helping them up and down the stairs and in and out of bed when they got older.
"Oh, that's terrible," you say.
It might be terrible. But it is the truth. There are people who are created to care for others. Some of those people are given soft and gentle arms in which tiny babies can be cradled. Others are given strong firm arms meant for holding tightly to restless children and rebellious teenagers. And some get the resilient and comforting arms necessary for caring for the sick and/or the elderly. Of course, many grow and adapt to the needs of those around them. I just never wanted to be the last of the three.
Now here I sit in a tiny room at the front of the house I grew up in and I am surrounded by boxes filled with clothes and books and things I will probably never need. My parents room is at the other end of the house but we meet in the middle at the bathroom and the kitchen.
I cook for them every day. I clean every weekend as well as do the grocery shopping. I move the shower chair into the bathroom so my dad can clean himself up. I never walk up the stairs first because I have to follow closely to make sure they don't fall backwards. (I learned my lesson two years ago when my mom slammed her head on a parking lot in Iowa while she tried to step up onto a curb.) I carry laundry up and down the stairs. I drive them to appointments and the bank. I remind them what belongs in which cabinets and which closets and which rooms on a daily basis. I walk slowly with them. I sit at the dinner table every night with them and listen to stories and sometimes I just listen to them eat (which used to make me crazy). I watch their favorite shows with them like Castle and Dancing with the Stars and all of the idealistic movies on the Hallmark channel.
In many ways, I am their care-giver. In some ways, I am their roommate. I had hoped my stay would be short but it seems that won't be the case. I am here for the long haul.
How about you tag along?
Until next time,
Michele
