My mom is forgetting some of you.
Please don't be offended when we see you and she doesn't say "hello" right away. Or when I say, "Mom, you remember so and so, don't you?" And she nods and acknowledges you even though she isn't quite sure. And please don't say, "Of course she remembers me!" as if I am mistaken because she really doesn't and it will make her feel bad.
The newer you are, the more likely she is to forget you, especially if she doesn't see you often. At my cousin's funeral recently, the number of people passing through and speaking to her overwhelmed her. She didn't recognize a lot of people because her distant memory is clear and she remembers the way you looked when you were a kid or when you were younger. She even said of her own brother, "I wouldn't have recognized him on the street" because she remembers a younger man and when she pictures him, she pictures a man in his prime, with a young, beautiful wife and small children.
Sometimes after we have run into an old classmate of mine or a former neighbor or even a relative we haven't seen in a while, she will say, "Oh my she doesn't look like herself." But... she does look like herself. She just doesn't look like herself when we were teenagers.
One day, my nephew asked if she will forget us too. The short answer is yes. I will never forget when my grandpa forgot who I was. I came home from work and walked into the back room and he was terrified. He not only didn't know me but he was afraid because he didn't know me.
It will absolutely suck when we reach that phase and I pray that it is ten years down the road. Selfishly, I dread it mostly because I know it is something I will have to go through alone.
There's nothing we can do to prepare for it except be around. Be around as often as possible. Call. Visit. Hug her. Listen to her tell the same stories and ask the same questions at a ridiculous clip within the short time you spend together. Be patient and just be there because, she is already forgetting some of you.
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